Shadow Preachers
by Wonderdaise
Summary: Padme had imagined that her first time would be like one of those cheesy holovids she secretly loved so much. There would be soft candle lighting, romantic music wafting through the air, and sparkling wine to share. Sadly, all of these things were hard if not impossible to accomplish in the back of Anakin's speeder.


_**Warning**_ : Just in case you need a more clear warning; please take the rating very seriously. I totally mean it. But yah; this is PWP. Rated NC-17. Turn back now if that isn't your cup-o-tea. This is a fair warning!

 _ **Note One:**_ I imagine a common speeder like a convertible top car, but I know that isn't the case. Let's pretend anyway!

 _ **Note Two:**_ Anyhoo...Realistic and totally _not_ perfect first times ahoy!

 ** _Note Three:_** I deleted the original file some time ago, but decided I should have shortly after. Here is a proper repost, with better title, and hopefully just overall better this time around.

 **Shadow Preachers**

Padme grabbed her skirt and started to pull it up over her thighs. The speeder car was dark now, so much so that her eyes hadn't completely adjusted and she could barely make out the form of the Jedi underneath her. She was straddling him, his seat leaned back as far as it would go. She could tell that he was looking up at her, and he had his hands resting against her thighs.

They were both nervous. Neither of them had any idea about what they were doing, or how they should move forward. Everything up until this point had been driven by pure instinct. Their need to press their bodies close together and devour one another entirely had taken over, but that didn't mean that they knew how to go about it.

He was looking at her like she was a goddess revealed. It was like he had never seen a naked woman before. And he probably hadn't. Being a Jedi, he had absolutely no experience. Padme had slightly more, but only as far as kissing went.

Everything after that was a very poignant metaphor for fumbling around in the dark.

And of course, this wasn't how their night had started. It was supposed to go very differently. All she had wanted was to go home and forget that he even existed. And now here they were, and all she wanted was _him._

But that wasn't how it should have been. She had not intended to end her night with hot thighs parted and slick, waiting not-so-patiently for the Jedi to enter her at long last.

Earlier that night, she had been stranded. She didn't care to be alone much these days, because that gave her an opportunity to dwell on her thoughts. She kept thinking back to the Petranaki arena, to what had _almost_ happened there…to what happened instead, and what was almost worse.

She hadn't died in the arena; but Padme almost wished she had. It would have made things a lot simpler; for instance, she wouldn't have to worry about the most graceful way to avoid Anakin.

She was trying to be subtle, but he wasn't stupid. What began as clipped, frigid words had escalated into outright snubs. He could tell something was wrong, and she knew he was angry because she was going out of her way to avoid him.

His anger only irritated her. She regretted confessing her love. She didn't know what had dragged it out of her other than the looming inevitability of death that made her stomach flutter and clench until she spewed forbidden words. Bitter as bile in the moment, they had almost choked her. She didn't want to die with the confession caught in her throat.

Maybe if she had kept her mouth shut, she would have been able to die peacefully. Instead, she had let out a secret that fate felt was just too _scandalous_ to keep under wraps. Now every time she saw Anakin she deliberately avoided eye contact. Their love was wrong, and it wasn't as though he did not acquiesce. He understood why she was reluctant, but it was not enough to put him off. Padme had to be the strong one. She had to be the one to _force_ them to stay apart.

There was so much left unspoken between them, and yet still so much to be said. It was just better if they didn't speak at all. The only problem with not speaking is that it left tension in the air so thick that it could be sliced with a knife.

And to top everything off, the speeder shuttle was late.

That was her punishment, she supposed, for showing up to do her job at the Senate even when they urged her to take some time off. According to everyone else, a brief respite would have done her some good. It would have given her time to recover from both the mental and physical strain of all she had been through with the arena. She had declined the offer, of course, firmly but politely. She needed to work. She needed something to distract her from the rigid, carefully controlled emotional turmoil she was trying to repress.

Now it was getting late, and the senatorial shuttle was nowhere to be seen. She was getting impatient, but she was also attempting to avoid seeking someone out and speaking her mind about the matter. She did not want to come off as ill-tempered, especially when she felt like any hint of instability would push the Senate into forcing her to take time off.

"It's a bit late for you to be here still, isn't it?"

Padme's head snapped up. Obi-Wan's voice was unmistakable, and she recognized it instantly. Her heart began to pound and she felt her mouth go dry at the sound, because wherever he went, his apprentice was sure to follow…

And sure enough, Anakin was right by his master's side, accompanying him as they quickly closed the distance between themselves and the senator. Padme forced a tight smile, not quite able to draw it back enough to show teeth.

"It would appear that the shuttle has been delayed." She said. "Unfortunate, but not the worst thing I have endured recently."

"It still far from suitable." Obi-Wan stopped a few feet away from her, crossing his hands in that sagely way of his.

"And why are you here even later than I am meant to be?" she asked, desperate to keep the conversation going in order to avoid the void of silence that she was terrified would follow. She kept her eyes locked on Obi-Wan's, never once flickering even a small glance at his apprentice.

"It is only Jedi-related business." Obi-Wan said, furrowing his brow. "And I must admit that I do not like the idea of leaving you here on your own."

"Oh," Padme said hurriedly. "I assure you, I will be fine…"

"You have only recently survived an assassination attempt. Several, actually. I cannot in good conscience allow you to be stranded." Obi-wan gave her a slight, reassuring smile. "If you would allow me, Senator, I insist on offering my apprentice as an escort. He would be honored to accompany you back in his own speeder."

Padme didn't know if the absolute crushing dismay that swept across her face was as obvious on her as it was on Anakin. They exchanged the barest of glances from their corners of their eyes, obviously both reluctant. Their expressions, however, were completely missed by Obi-wan even as he kept his gentle blue-green eyes fixed on her, waiting for a response.

It was an offer that was impossible to back out of. Padme racked her brain for an excuse that would not immediately bring rise to suspicion, but she couldn't think of anything in time. She wished that Anakin would step up and be the faster thinker here, because she was drawing up a blank.

The only thing that stumbled out of her mouth was, "Then I will take you up on your offer. And thank you."

Obi-wan extended his hand, touching Anakin on the shoulder and giving him a well-meaning pat. "I will see you later." He said. "Make sure that Senator Amidala reaches her destination safely."

"Yes, master." Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan gave his regards once more to Padme before parting ways. Both senator and apprentice stood as rigid as statues for several minutes, neither moving to make the first attempt at facing the other. Finally, Anakin turned to her. He kept his voice low, even though Obi-wan was far out of earshot.

"This way, Senator." He said, mumbling as he started to move towards the speeder. Padme lifted her chin and followed him, refusing to cave underneath the quickly building tension.

They made it to the speeder. Anakin reached out to assist her in climbing inside, but she ignored his hand, stepping in on her own. He waited until she had gathered up her skirts and then he got in on the driver's side. She watched his fingers busily flip a series of switches and smash a few buttons before she felt the speeder start to rumble underneath her.

It occurred to her, a bit too late, that maybe she shouldn't be letting the man she was holding an active vendetta against drive.

Oh well. Maybe her death wish would be answered.

They sped out into the city. They were behind the wheel for all of three minutes before the inevitable question came spilling out of his mouth.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

She felt like she was being pulled out of a daze. She turned her head and looked at him, wetting her bottom lip with her tongue – suddenly feeling like her whole mouth had gone dry.

"I'm not." She said firmly, glad that her voice wasn't shaking as badly as she feared.

"Yes," he said, making a sharp turn that caused the entire speeder to lean dangerously. Padme reached out to brace herself, growling with annoyance.

"You are avoiding me, as well!" she hissed through her teeth. "Do you care to tell me why?"

"It just seems to me, _Senator,_ that if someone confesses love, that person should actually mean it…"

"I _did_ mean it!"

"And such a declaration should not be subject to change within twenty minutes of having been made…"

"You don't know anything about this, about what we are doing! It is wrong, it is _more_ than wrong, and we just…I cannot allow for it to happen. Have you thought for one second about how it would impact you?"

"I have thought about nothing else. You don't understand. It keeps me awake at night. _You_ keep me awake. You think I don't feel guilty? It's worth it to me. Why isn't it worth it to you?"

"Because I am not capable of making a reckless decision! I can't _afford_ to be reckless! I have a job, a _position,_ to consider. Many people depend on me, and I don't think you've ever stopped to consider…"

"You are always talking about other people, so when are you going to start taking _your_ best interests to heart?"

"Being selfish was a privilege I relinquished." She said tersely. "And it is one that you will soon have to give up as well. We can't be children about this, Anakin."

"Oh, now I am a _child_? I am not the one who started to give you the silent treatment!" His anger climbed with each word, the speeder vehicle swerving dangerously. He was becoming more emotional and his driving increasingly reckless. Padme was starting to see her life flash before her eyes in the form of a thousand city lights.

"Pull over." She demanded sharply.

"Why?" he countered. Every word was white hot with anger and his voice was trembling with so much rage.

"Because I refuse to have this argument with you and I am not going to speak to you when you are like this!"

He didn't say anything. His only response was to drive even more recklessly, weaving in and out of traffic. Her stomach was doing flips. She felt like any moment she was going to throw up, and if she did she was going to make sure she aimed it right in his lap.

"Did you not hear me? Anakin, _stop!"_

He still didn't respond. She was infuriated and fed up. She reached out to grab his hand, trying to get his attention at the very least. As soon as her skin brushed over his, they both felt a jolt. It was like being shocked by electricity. She looked up, her lips parted in surprise. His hand twitched, and he narrowly avoided crashing into another speeder that was directly in front of them.

The near-miss seemed to bring him to his senses. Anakin pulled the speeder over, deflating like a balloon. His anger was gradually ebbing away as he brought the vehicle to a stop in front of a random building, his hands trembling a little bit. He wasn't looking at her.

She watched him, her face flushed and her eyes bright – she looked almost feverish. A few strands of her hair had come loose and were falling into her eyes, yet she didn't reach up to push them back.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding genuine. "It is only that I…really wish things could have been different."

She swallowed. "I know," she said softly, her own anger feeling like it was draining so quickly that it was leaving her dizzy. "It…really isn't your fault."

He bit the corner of his lip. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he was refraining. She didn't know if she should be grateful or not. Padme looked away. Her hand was wrapped around the handle of her door – all she had to do was push it back and let herself out. She would still be stranded, and this time it would be at what looked like a skeezy rundown watering hole for vagabonds. The senatorial shuttle wasn't going to find her here, and everyone was going to be up in arms for the next few hours trying to locate her.

Besides, she was finding it very difficult to leave him. It felt irreversible, somehow.

Her anger was gone. She slumped in her seat, pulling her hand away from the door and swiping her hair out of her eyes instead.

"Just take me home," she said, so quietly that she barely felt like she had spoken at all.

Anakin seemed surprised, but he wasn't going to question it. He merged back into traffic, driving more carefully this time. They were both silent once again, and its seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

The quiet was broken, again, by his voice.

"Things _could_ be different." He said, and she immediately felt her heart begin to pound a little faster.

"No," she shook her head. "No they _can't."_

"But you said that you lo…."

"It doesn't matter what I said!" she cut him off, beyond exasperated. "Don't you understand that? It doesn't matter what I said because I _thought we were going to die!"_

He looked hurt. A wave of pain moved behind his eyes. "So you don't love…"

"I didn't say that." She was even more frustrated than before.

"But you won't be with me?" he sounded, for a brief moment, like the boy she once knew. Alone and confused, stubborn to a fault – lost and in need of love. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and pull him close. She wanted to hold him tight and comfort him.

Of course she couldn't do that. It would undo every method of separation she had employed up until this point.

"We can't." she said, and her throat was almost too tight to let the words past. She was relieved to see that they were rapidly approaching her senatorial suite. This was almost over, just a few more feet…

He brought the speeder to a halt in front of it. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, and had this sinking feeling that he was doing his best not to cry. She couldn't bear to see him like this. She hated herself for doing this to him, for not having the self-control to not utter such careless words even in the face of death. This could have so easily been avoided. It was much easier to keep their feelings suppressed when they had not been spoken out loud.

But now it was an open wound that two fumbling surgeons were making a poor attempt at stitching up. Neither of them had done this before, neither were _capable_ , and neither should have made it this far in the first place. It was such a mess.

"I'm going," she told him, as if there was any doubt. "It is going to be the

last time."

"I know," he said, still keeping his eyes straight ahead. "I guess that it has to be."

"It does." Her head was throbbing, her heart was pounding. She felt sick to her stomach, but this was _it._ She was leaving Anakin for good, and it meant much more than just leaving him behind in a speeder. Things were going to be different in many new, painful ways.

She couldn't just leave without saying or doing _something._ There had to be some sort of…closure. Some sort of parting gesture. She couldn't think of anything left unsaid that wouldn't make matters worse one way or the other, so she decided on something else.

Padme leaned over, gripping onto the side of her seat. She meant to leave a chaste kiss, nothing more than a brush of lips across his cheek.

Her skin touched his, and it was the same electric shock they had felt earlier when she had grabbed his hand. Her lips were soft, and his cheek was rough but still smooth – right in line with that of a young man who had not come into his beard yet. Her whole body shivered and she froze, her lips still pressed against his cheek, her grip on the seat so tight that her knuckles were draining of blood and turning white.

He turned to face her, a sudden smooth motion. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her forward, his lips capturing hers and holding them prisoner in a firm, insistent kiss. Padme melted almost immediately, whatever barriers she had erected came crashing down with his touch. She had lost. In that instant, and perhaps forever. It was too much, too powerful. The kiss was a perfect illustration of their entire relationship…an innocent, well-intended gesture set fire to and consumed by lust.

Both bodies seemed to move on their own accord - their minds blissfully blank. Anakin leaned back and Padme climbed out of her seat, settling her body against his. Her hands were resting on either side of his face, her thumbs stroking his cheek, her fingers wandering into his hair and traveling down the back of his neck. He pushed his hands up into her hair, pulling it free from its style so that her long, glossy waves fell down around her shoulders. His hands were all over her at once. His tongue pushed past her lips, filling up her mouth. She moaned, nibbling on his tongue, her body hyper-sensitive to his aggressive, searching hands. He seemed largely uncertain about what he could get away with, but she had thrown caution to the wind and was encouraging him to go further. She grabbed his hand, pulling it up and pushing it against her chest. Anakin moaned, groping her breasts through her clothing, kneading the soft flesh between his strong fingers. Padme gasped, her head tilting as she arched her back, pushing herself closer to him. Her skirt was tangled up, riding up over her thighs as she straddled him. She could feel how hard he was already through his robes.

She started rocking back and forth while he groped her chest, his free hand sliding down the curve of her back to squeeze her ass. She rubbed against his bulge, whimpering with need, getting worked up, squeezing her thighs around his. She was hot and flustered, already, her cheeks flushing with long strands of hair sticking to her skin, clinging to her neck. She pressed her body as close to his as possible, her hand going down to squeeze his cock through his clothes. He was so firm, and his bulge barely fit in her hand. She latched onto his throat with her lips and began sucking.

He moaned again, his hips bucking into her hand as he tilted his head as far back as it would go. His skin was salty with sweat but so easy to suck. She didn't linger in one spot for too long, leaving behind a trail of red marks. She nibbled the spot just beneath his ear, nipping at his earlobe and tucking on it before tracing her hot tongue over the shell of his ear and traveling down, her lips sinking low to the spot just above his collarbone. She had to pull his robe down just a little bit to get to it, but as frenzied as she was she was conscious not to leave a mark where someone might see.

She sucked hard on the skin there, drawing all sorts of new sounds from deep within Anakin's throat. She wrapped one hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer to her, while the other squeezed his bulge again, rubbing it through his rough clothes. She slid her palm back and forth over the barely constrained erection, driving him wild, making his hips jerk. She settled her hips just above his bulge, letting him thrust towards the air, for some reason feeling more aroused by just the feeling of him getting so close to her.

Her lips smacked as she pulled away from his throat. She left behind a nice, shiny mottled purple spot. It was dark and unmistakably a love bite. She was glad she hadn't left it higher up and hoped that that wasn't what the red spots faded into later.

She switched sides, pulling his shirt collar down a bit farther so it slid over his shoulder. She kissed the curve and then worked her way back to the base of his neck, latching on again. He leaned his seat back and her body was able to rest against his easier while she sucked on his neck. He brought his hands up to grope her breasts again. Her nipples were erect with arousal, jutting out and pressed up against the fabric of her own clothes. He was able to pinch them through the cloth, his mouth greedily devouring every inch of her he could possibly reach. He gave her a taste of her own medicine, pressing his lips against her throat, licking the spot he intended to suck. A little too high up for her taste, but to her relief he moved down. He found the base of her neck and nuzzled it, opening his mouth nibbling before drawing her in and sucking – groping at the same time and rocking his hips against hers.

Padme moaned, feeling his bulge bumping against her hips. Her legs were spread, and their clothes were the only thing separating them at this point. Her body was moving with his, a bit awkward because of the confines of the speeder car – also hindered by the fact that neither of them knew what they were doing.

Some of her skirt had bunched up and was rubbing against her at the same time. Her head was getting light and she gasped, her hips locking and her whole body going rigid as she realized she didn't want to move, she didn't want to do anything other than have him grind against her. She slipped a hand beneath him, wiggling until it was placed between his ass and the leather seat. She pressed him closer to her, moving her hips back and forth – humping him until she felt herself get dizzy. She gasped and her lips parted. She rested her head on his shoulder and her brow furrowed – she whimpered a little bit – the high-pitched sound fading into a moan as a warm, tingling sensation spread throughout and made her legs tremble a little. She bit his shoulder, taking a mouthful of his shirt as well. Anakin was panting and sweating, so hard that it was painful. They wanted each other so badly, they were barely able to pull apart long enough to clear their heads and try to figure out their next move…

"I want you," he breathed at the same time she said "Stop".

He blinked, looking up at her. His eyes were shiny and confused, he looked dazed if anything else. Padme took a moment, her hand pressed against his chest – the only thing keeping them apart for longer than a few seconds.

"I want you too," she told him after taking a moment to try and reel in her swimming thoughts. He grinned. She almost laughed at that boyish smile that spread across his face like wildfire.

"We can't go inside." She knew better than to try and pull him into her senatorial suites. Even sitting in front of the building as long as they had, they were in danger of being seen. If she were to drag a Jedi into the building, kissing him the whole way…there was no way they were going to escape notice. She forced herself to try and think rationally, but that wasn't going as successfully as she would have liked.

Finally, she made a decision. "Pull around to the side of the building," she told him, employing a hint of that imperious tone that he loved so much. "The shadows will conceal us better over there…"

He nodded, clearing his throat like he was trying to collect a little bit of lost composure. She grabbed another kiss, forcing herself to keep it brief lest she lose control again and end up riding him in front of a well-lit building for just anyone to stumble across.

She fell back into her seat, feeling a wanton mess. The leather was a cold jot of reality against her back, but she was on cloud nine with no intentions of coming down. Her heart was pounding at such a speed that she thought it would burst. Her mind was racing. She was thinking about everything that had led her back to this point, and about how she wasn't even remotely prepared to give him half of what he deserved from someone…

She had never been intimate with anyone before. All of her previous 'romances' were both innocent and brief. She had never done anything more than kiss, and it was nothing like this. She had never experienced anything this intense – nothing had ever made her lose her head so completely. No one had ever made her feel like _that_ … not like she had felt when she was rocking her hips against his and she felt the pleasurable warmth slam into her like a ton of bricks. She hadn't even felt that when she touched herself experimentally, almost shamefully, exploring behind closed doors. The only thing she had gotten from those experiences was frustration.

Anakin grabbed hold of the controls and moved the speeder over to the side of the building as instructed. Padme watched the shadows slide over them, like a thick black blanket that they could snuggle underneath and hide from the world…

He pulled down as far as he could and then parked the speeder once again. Anakin leaned back in his seat and looked at her expectantly.

She swallowed hard. This was about to happen. She couldn't believe what she was doing. Padme slid back over into his seat, noticing this time the subtle rocking o the speeder with the sudden shift in weight. She felt like she could hear every puff of breath and every creak of leather as she settled onto Anakin's lap.

He had tilted the seat as far back as it would go. She leaned against him now, wondering where she should even begin again. In theory it should have been easy to pick up where she left off. But desire had driven her actions minutes ago, and now she was hyper aware of every move she was making. It all seemed so painfully contrived, and she wondered if he felt as stiff as she did.

She settled down against him, placing her hips back on top of his bulge. It had softened only a little bit during the space of time where he was moving the speeder, but it was rock hard once again as soon as she squeezed her thighs around his. Padme caught his face in her hands, leaning forward to give him a gentle kiss.

Their lips met, and in complete contrast to before, this kiss was slow and passionate. She opened her mouth for him, and he slid his tongue inside. He held the back of her head and refused to come up for air. She could feel the puffs of his breath as he was breathing through his nose. He curious hands reached out, giving her breasts a little squeeze before traveling further down.

He cupped his hand and placed it between her thighs, touching her between her clothes. Padme's halting breath caught, and she froze, not sure how to react. He met her eyes and started moving his fingers back and forth experimentally, doing little more than rubbing her clothes against her entrance…but still, it was enough to get her hips rocking.

Padme moaned softly, trying to stay in that exact position to make things easier for him. Her first instinct was to tremble and collapse on top of him, but she didn't want to squish his hand. She knew it would be easier without their clothes, but she had never been naked in front of someone else before… never in that way…

Padme twisted her fingers up in her skirt, lifting and dragging it up over her thighs. Anakin's eyes got a little wider as his fingers were able to connect with soft, warm flesh. His fingertips ventured a little deeper and he felt how wet she was. His fingers sank, and he started to push his way inside of her.

She gasped, biting her bottom lip and holding onto his shoulders. His fingers felt intrusive and much thicker than she thought they would feel. They went deeper and deeper – he was pushing in two at a time. He didn't seem to know what to do as far as coordinating them. They kept bumping into her walls, his nails scraping a little. She hissed unhappily, glad at least that his nails were clipped and so the grazing was nothing more than a slight discomfort.

She ground down on his fingers, hoping to get more out of it. She could feel herself drying up a bit, apparently not as enthusiastic about this as she would have liked to pretend. She hoped he would finish with it soon, and held her breath as he started twisting his fingers around so that his thumb could search for her clit. He found it, applying too much pressure and trying to make small circles. He ended up mashing it like a button, and there was too much friction and not enough lubrication to make it pleasurable. Padme winced and slid off his fingers, softening the action with a kiss. Fingering wasn't what she was after, anyway. She was after much more.

She slid her hands through the opening of Anakin's shirt. Her palms against his skin was so enticing she could barely breathe. She slid her hands up and down his chest, tweaking his nipples, feeling a bit shy about her actions. She didn't know what was too playful and what was simply _not sexy…_ but he wasn't saying anything. He was just watching her, and at the very least he wasn't getting any softer.

Padme reached up and grabbed the open neckline of her own robe. The fabric was fairly stretchy, and she managed to pull it over both her shoulders, slipping it down her arms so that she was bare-chested in front of him. Between that and the fact that her skirt was riding so far up her thighs that the bulk of it was now wrapped around her waist – she may as well have been naked.

He cupped one of her breasts in his hands. Anakin pulled himself up a little bit, pressing himself closer to her – his mouth against her breast. He slid his tongue over her nipple, licking it until it was erect with stimulation. He nipped at it curiously, playing around a bit, groping her other breast with his free hand. After a moment's pause, he started sucking, and she felt spidery shocks of pleasure dancing up and down her spine. She moaned and starting clinging to him, her arms wrapped around him as she pressed him closer to her chest, urging him to continue. She locked her legs around him, throwing her head back so that her hair cascaded down to her waist. He held onto her, his hips bucking against hers, and Padme whined in her throat – she couldn't hold back any longer.

Padme pushed him away long enough so that she could reach down between his legs. Anakin gasped, having just emerged from having his mouth locked around her nipple. He moaned when she squeezed him, and then his heart started beating faster than ever when she wormed her way underneath his clothes and pulled his cock out – her hand stroking it lightly, a bit awkwardly. She wasn't sure how to handle it, and she seemed mildly fascinated by the loose foreskin that moved with her hand. She squeezed his shaft – a bit too hard. Anakin winced and put his hand on top of hers, urging her to be gentle.

Padme couldn't help but balk at his sheer size. He felt thick in her hands, and in the darkness she couldn't tell how accurate the measurement was. All she knew was that she was not one hundred percent certain that he was going to even _fit._ She considered telling him that, but she did not want to swell up his ego any further than was deserved. Men seemed to take pride in being too large to conceivably get inside of their partners…it was a concept she would never understand.

She was intimidated, but that had never stopped her before and it was not going to do so now. She was determined to see this through. It was something that she always _knew_ would happen. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew since he arrived back in her life, all charming smiles and brilliant blue eyes, that she was going to end up giving herself to him and face whatever trouble came their way head-on.

There was a distant voice in the depths of her consciousness, screaming that she was a fool. It told her that she could still quit while she was ahead, that once she did this there was no going back…

She banished the thought. She was far past the point of no return and there was no point in mulling over doubts. It was cowardice that was telling her to pull back now. She wanted to be with him and she couldn't let her fears control her.

"Are you okay?" Anakin whispered. Padme looked up at him.

"Yeah," she smiled, going back to moving her hand up and down his shaft. He flinched again a little bit but smiled back at her, his hand still on top of hers.

"Does it feel good?" she asked, keeping her voice low even though there was little to no chance of them being overheard. It seemed more appropriate to whisper, considering the intimacy of the situation.

"Y-Yes." He lifted his hand and set it on the back of her head somewhat hurriedly. She looked up at him, furrowing her brow, and his throat convulsed as he swallowed hard – his Adam's apple bobbing. "Do you…" he didn't want to ask. "Would you um…"

She thought she knew what he meant, but she didn't want to get it wrong. She wasn't naïve, but she was grossly inexperienced.

She decided to take a leap of faith and do what she thought he was after. If she got it wrong, well…

She opened her mouth and moved back a little bit so she could get low enough to put her mouth against the head of his cock. She didn't like the taste, and for something that looked so smooth it had an oddly rough texture. Her tongue darted out and she prodded the little slit, trying her best to not think about what she was doing as she took more of it inside her mouth.

It was bitter, and he was big enough that he filled her entire mouth. She felt like her jaw was being stretched too wide, the corners of her mouth feeling like they were going to rip if she tried to go any further. She took as much in as she could, aware that she should probably try to suck at some point, and also conscious of the fact that he was moaning – so she wanted to take as much of him inside as she could.

Her teeth grazed his foreskin, which made his hips jerk. He hissed, but when back to groaning when she wrapped her lips around his shaft. She slid down just a little bit further, his head hitting the roof of her mouth and then sliding towards the back of her throat. She couldn't even get halfway down without gagging. She pulled back, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she started sucking on the very tip, looking up at him as she did so.

He tangled his fingers up in her hair, tugging on it a little bit as she sucked. She dared to go down a little bit further once more, waiting until his cock _almost_ hit the back of her throat again before stopping. She held onto the base and thought about stroking him again. She wasn't sure when she was supposed to stop, if he would tell her or if she was just supposed to let him cum in her mouth…

That idea put her off. He bucked his hips a little bit and tried to push himself farther down her throat, but she wasn't about to have that. She pulled off, her hands massaging his balls – drawing even deeper, hungrier moans from the depths of his throat. She kept squeezing them, licking the sides of his shaft, her tongue tugging on the foreskin as it started to get a little dry.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back up. He kissed her, going down her throat – pausing every now and again to suck a little bit. He found her breasts again, dragging his teeth over the sensitive red spots he had already left behind. She was clinging to him, getting wet and worked up again, wanting to finally feel him inside. She wanted everything to finally come crashing down, she wanted to experience what she had spent far too much time daydreaming about...

His lips locked with hers again, and while they were kissing he flipped her around in the seat. His body propelled hers, and Padme found herself trapped between him and the leather. She gasped and wormed her way up a bit, letting her ass slide back into the crevice of the seat so she could be arranged more comfortably. He was so close to her, his face looming over hers as he looked down on her almost reverently. He stroked her hair and reached down, grabbing hold of his shaft and guiding it up to place between her legs. He looked so nervous and excited – the expression on his face matching how her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

She reached up again and pushed his shirt down entirely, his robe disappearing into the floorboards. She wanted his naked chest pressed against hers while they made love. His hard, wiry body was pressed against her own. His skin was hot, and the muscles on his abdomen somehow emphasized how sharp his hipbones were as he started jutting them out – pushing his cock up against her entrance.

Padme spread her legs as wide as she could. As wet as she was, she still wasn't sure that she could take all of him in. He felt so big. He stayed on the outside for a moment, slipping the tip of his cock up and down her entrance, as if making sure it was wet enough. He then pushed forward, awkwardly jabbing closer to her clit than to her hole. She winced, but didn't really want to correct him. She didn't want to embarrass him. He jabbed again, as if he just needed to press harder to get inside, and she set a hand on his shoulder.

"Lower," she whispered.

"Sorry," he whispered back, blushing. His cock traveled down and then pressed up against her hole. Padme stifled a gasp, digging her nails into his shoulder as he started to push himself inside. This was far thicker than both of his fingers had been. She started panting, he was barely able to squeeze the head in before…

"Pause!" she breathed. "Pause, pause…"

"Okay, okay," he said gently, his own breath hitching. The pleasure was almost overwhelming on his end, and going slow only made his balls ache with the intense need to release. "We will go slow…" he said, kissing her on the forehead first, then the lips. "Tell me when it's okay to move some more."

She nodded and waited a moment, shifting her weight and trying to adjust. He was as stiff as a rod between her legs, and he was pinning her down, her legs splayed wide apart. She thought for a second that it might be easier if she drew her legs up, but she was already in some minor pain during his initial entry. She didn't want to stretch herself and cause any more aggravation.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands traveling to rest further down his back. She took a deep breath and nodded, pressing her lips to his ear.

"Okay," she said.

He pushed forward again. She whimpered and buried her face in his neck, moaning as kept sliding in. She didn't know how much of him there was. She felt like he should have been in there entirely by now, but looking down, so much of him was still on the outside…

She grit her teeth and steeled herself for more. She could do this, she could absolutely do this…

She was wet enough, so why was this so difficult? It felt like the more he stuffed inside of her, the wider she was being stretched open…

Then he hit a wall. The pain made her cry out and she dug her nails into his back, dragging them up to his shoulders and leaving behind bright red trails.

"Stop!" she all but screamed.

"What is it?" he paused, concerned.

"Stop, just…" she took another deep breath. "Stop. I need a moment."

"Are you all right?"

"Mhm, I'm fine, I just…"

"Is that as deep as it will go?" he asked, sounding both disappointed and confused. She nodded again.

"I think so," she said.

"Okay," he started to pull himself back, but then paused. "Can I move again?"

"Mhm," she was back to whispering, lying completely limp against the seat now, which was starting to get a little slick with her sweat. "Just don't go any deeper yet."

He started to pull back again, his cock angled so that she felt every inch as he slid out. He moaned, closing his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he then slid back in, going until he hit that wall, which made her squirm again. It wasn't as painful the second time, but still…

It took a few times, but he started establishing a steady rhythm of going back and forth. The more comfortable he got with it, the faster he thrust until she felt like he was recklessly jabbing at her insides. His thighs kept crashing into hers, and because there was no real room for his legs it was a heavy blow each time. She mused that she was going to have bruises by the end of this. His hips were just as bad, so sharp that she kept twisting to find a better angle where they wouldn't hit her quite so hard. He mistook her adjustment for enthusiasm, and that just caused him to thrust harder. His thrusts were becoming more and more reckless. He didn't seem to notice that he was hitting her barrier – that or he was determined to break through. She held onto him, her fingernails digging into his back so deeply that she was doing her best not to draw blood – but at this point it seemed a small recompense.

"Anakin," she said breathily, her mouth against his ear once more. "I don't think you can get through…"

"Aren't you supposed to?" he asked. "I think that is part of it…"

"I don't know."

"I think," he was panting, holding onto her tightly, crushing her against his chest. "I think it's almost…" one final thrust, and it was like something shifted inside of her. She felt him slide all the way inside in one sudden motion. She fell back against the seat and he froze on top of her, his eyes wide as he wasn't sure about exactly what he just did.

He moved his hips experimentally. She felt an ache, but it wasn't the sharp pain it had been before. "How does it feel?" he asked uncertainly, afraid that he had just done something wrong.

"It feels…deeper." She whispered. "How does it feel for you?"

"It feels like...like you're holding it." He moved his hips again, starting to draw himself back out. "Is that how…it's supposed to feel?"

"I don't know." She found herself repeating, and she suddenly wished he would stop asking her for affirmation. Normally it was sweet, normally it was endearing. Right now it was too much. Deciding to nod slightly, to affirm him once more, "I think so."

They looked at each other. Everything was still, they were still...Then he held her gaze as he thrust again, and she moaned deeply, resting her hands on the side of his face.

The pain was almost completely gone now. She was still sore, but now it felt…good.

It was like a switch had been flipped. Anakin grabbed hold of her hips and pressed his body as close to hers as he possibly could, grinding her into the leather seat. He pushed his face into her neck and started pumping his hips, smacking his wet flesh into hers, groaning the whole time.

"Fuck, fuck…" his voice sounded strained. "It feels so good…"

She opened her mouth as if to speak again, but every jab took her breath away, making it impossible for her to form words. Her eyelashes fluttered, her eyes rolling up as she gave in completely. He fucked her hard and fast, and she didn't care if anyone saw now. She wouldn't have been able to pull herself out from under him for anything. And it just _felt so good…_

He wrenched one hand out from underneath her, bringing it up to grope her breast. She moaned, setting her hand on top of his to push it close and encourage him further. It seemed like they had been in the car for an eternity, but she didn't have a clue as to the actual passage of time. He was rolling his hips and crashing them down into hers. His thrusts were starting to slow down, and she had a feeling that he was close to finishing. He pressed his mouth to her throat, sucking hard while he pushed himself deep inside her, wriggling his hips while he lingered and then pulling out again. He let the tip hover outside of her entrance for just a moment before slamming it back in, and she could almost feel the bruise forming on her neck where his lips were latched.

Finally, he pulled his mouth away, squeezing her breast as he thrust inside her as deep as he could go, lingering and looking at her with something like surprise.

"I…." he couldn't explain to her how he was feeling. How his shaft was throbbing and his balls were aching, and he could feel the pressure building up inside of them, ready to explode…

"I'm going to…" his voice could barely be heard. She nodded frantically, running her hands through his short hair and pushing his head down to her chest.

"Do it," she said. "Do it Anakin…"

"Fuck!" he pulled back, his words breathless. "I love you!" he plunged inside once more and exploded. She could feel the spreading warmth of his seed as he filled her, and he lingered inside as he long as possible, his face pressed against her chest. He kissed her breasts, lifting them up for easier access – a series of quick kisses. He wasn't ready to leave her yet, and Padme involuntarily felt herself clench around his softening cock – making him moan once more.

He was almost completely soft as he pulled out, his cock hanging limp and wet between his legs. It was still plump and sensitive from the orgasm and he tried to crash down beside her the seat. He ended up laying on his side, as there was not that much space between her and the door. She moved over to try and give him some more room.

"How was that…?" he asked, eyes rolling up to look at her. His thighs were shaking from the orgasm. He looked spent and drenched in his own sweat.

"It was good…" she smiled at him, rolling over onto her side so she could give him some more room yet and also so they could face each other.

"Did you…?" he trailed his finger down the curve of her blushing cheek. Her whole face felt like it was on fire, and she wasn't sure whether that was the heat of the speeder car or if it was because part of her was embarrassed and shy about all of this, still.

She shook her head. "No," she said. She wasn't sure if she had cum earlier while they were dry-humping. It _felt_ like she had but she didn't want to say anything. She didn't want him to tell her that that was weird. She thought that she _should_ have been able to orgasm from having him inside of her, but she didn't know why she hadn't… _Maybe next time?_ A sly voice inside of her head assured hopefully.

"I'm sorry," he apologized earnestly, reaching down to touch between her legs. She instantly wished he wouldn't do that. Her thighs were slick and tacky, doing their best to stick together. He had to work to slide his fingers between them. She tried to spread her legs, but she realized exactly how sore. The dull ache spread across her hips. She would definitely not be able to do this again tonight.

"I'll do it this way." He smiled at her, going for her entrance. She shook her head. As soon as he touched her, his fingers felt so cold that it was an unwelcome shock. She wasn't just sore – it almost felt like she was swollen, and her whole area felt desensitized and dry – in contrast to her thighs. She did not want even his fingers inside.

Besides, in the dimmest of lights she could see that there was a little bit of blood streaking the side of his member. She did not want that all over his fingers. She didn't know if any had gotten on the seats, but she dearly hoped not.

"I'm fine," she said, clamping her thighs shut so that he couldn't get any deeper between them and taking hold of his wrist, tugging his hand away gingerly. "Really…I enjoyed it."

He nodded, smiling with utmost trust at her again, before running his hand through her damp hair and collapsing against the door, tipping his head back to close his eyes and bask in the afterglow.

Padme realized that she was ready to get back to her suites. She was sore – she didn't even know if she would be able to _walk._ There was a reason this act was done traditionally in beds….one could not possibly be expected to move for several hours afterward. She was uncomfortable, and her side felt like it was going to go numb if she maintained her position in the seat. He looked perfectly comfortable. In fact, he looked like he was about to fall asleep, and she was not ready to stay for an undetermined amount of time in the speeder car, especially with the chance that someone might see them.

She looked him over; her new lover. What a strange reflection to make. It's not that she never thought she would make it this far with someone. Rather, she didn't picture herself making it this far before marriage…and not for another ten years at the rate she had previously been moving. He may not have left her physically satisfied, and though that was mildly disappointing, he had certainly tried.

This was the man she had given herself to. A Jedi – who knew? She had never anticipated this, could not have predicted…she certainly didn't _plan_ it. But, then again, a part of her knew, a part of her felt something bubbling under the surface the moment Obi-Wan reintroduced them to one another. Subconsciously maybe she did know. She wondered if it was the work of the Force.

The act itself, though it wasn't a perfect first time. It was not at all like she had pictured or like what she had always been told it should be. It was not romantic at all, it was not comfortable. It was intimate, yes, but in a way that was not entirely comfortable. It was a frantic tryst in the dark. It was forbidden romance, but not the kind that made your heart race with an adrenaline rush. It was the scary kind… and consummating love like this felt more than wrong, it felt dirty. It felt like she had been thrown down in a speeder car almost like a prostitute, a secret that should be covered up.

Secretive, alluring, shameful. All of those words suited them too well. This tryst was as oddly befitting as it was enticing and exciting. And Padme hated to admit just how thrilling it _had_ been…

She also had to stop referring to it, especially in the depths of her own mind, as a _tryst._ This was permanent. Irreversible. It did not have an ideal beginning, and things were still far from perfect. She didn't know if they were going to get better. She wished she could look down the road and see anything other than uncertainty.

She wondered if Anakin thought about that, if he thought that Obi-Wan would find out – and what the consequences would be if he did. There _were_ going to be consequences for this, no doubt. She didn't know how she was going to collect herself and manage to get together enough dignity to walk back to her suites unescorted. Her clothes were a rumpled mess around her waist. And hopefully nothing had managed to actually get on them…

No matter how she felt, there was still a degree of relief – giving into destiny and fate. Padme was so used to micromanaging her existence that she forgot that she wasn't in control of absolutely everything.

That was nice to remember.

Anakin stirred. The leather was doing its best to stick to his skin and hold him back as he moved a little bit closer to her. Padme realized how uncomfortable she still was, but she let herself be dragged into his arms. At the very least it took the pressure off her side, and she felt one of her hands begin to tingle with pins and needles as the blood was allowed to circulate once more.

"Padme," he whispered, kissing her gently. "I love you."

She kissed him back, the kiss was almost enough to banish all of the fear and doubt from her mind. _Almost._ In complete contrast the words _I love you_ were enough to make her want to pull away entirely. They scared her more than anything. They made her wonder if she would ever be enough for him…

She _had_ to be enough. She would have to work hard to make sure that she was, because she wasn't _good_ for him, so she had to be worth the risk.

She wondered if he was going to do the same for her. If he was going to make himself worth the risk that she was taking. She berated herself for lingering on her own doubts too much. She knew that she needed to just enjoy the moment. She needed to let herself succumb to his love and the time spent in his arms.

It was still dark. They didn't need to brush each other off and rejoin the real world just yet.

"I love you too," she said in return, kissing his cheek and nuzzling it. "I love you so much that I am willing to risk everything."

"And you know I will do the same for you," he said. "I am not going to let you down."

He was still shivering from the orgasm. She could feel his thighs trembling, especially as he tried to keep himself up on his side. His limp cock was starting to stiffen again. She could feel it pressed up against her thighs, though not quite hard enough to be taken seriously.

"Padme," he said breathlessly, curling one finger underneath her chin. "I want you to marry me." She froze, as if she hadn't heard him correctly.

She couldn't drown in her thoughts. Her mind was drawing up a complete blank. There seemed to be only one phrase floating around the noiseless white void.

 _Destiny and fate._

Time to give in, relinquish the control. Padme swallowed all hesitancy, forcing a trembling smile.

"Yes, Anakin." She said. "I will marry you."

The End


End file.
